Still Living

Posted by on Jul 30, 2011 in Poetry, Spirit | 0 comments

The sky pulled me close this morning
Embraced me with its fluff of clouds
I could not help but hug back at such a spontaneous and unexpected pleasure.

My child declares me dead
And holds her breath until I disappear
Not as charming at 30 as it was at 3.
Of course I blame myself.

That long dark summer when she was lost at sea
I ached and threw money like confetti
And ran incautious through mortal peril
To bring her safely home

When she returned from the nearly dead
I slew the fatted calf and invited the world
To come marvel at the wonder of a woman-child who glittered when she walked
And sucked all the oxygen out of every room

None left for me
I held my breath and waited for her to notice.

Now I regret the path I took a decade past
But cannot un-walk it or make her turn
To see me, Desolate

When I told her I was going
The mask of her face held briefly to grief
Then rose to anger. Now she holds to her rage and pain without pity.
And speaks of me as dead

But the sky knows she lies.
The clouds flirt with me and make a sound like happiness
I laugh out loud and blow kisses.

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